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The secret location of the Institute for Homely Sciences

 

 

A great many of our loyal listeners, which we fondly refer to as our “Podders”, have inquired to the origins of the highly secretive Institute For Homely Sciences. Nothing about the history, location, or curriculum for The Institute can be found online. Hopefully the following limited synopsis will shed a little light.

The Institute was founded shortly after the beginning of the 20th century by a true pioneer in the field of covert education for the male homosexual, Harry Handoncock. Home Economics departments were being formed at Land-Grant universities across the United States but only women were allowed to attend and Handoncock wanted to change that. He left his hometown of Intercouse, Pennsylvania and headed west, settling north of downtown Los Angeles. Due to another moral scandal involving alter boys that was quietly rocking the Catholic church, Handoncock was able to purchase an under valued Catholic Mission house along with several acres of the surrounding hillside known as Silver Lake (and he renamed it the Swish Alps) . He immediately set upon building an impenetrable stucco wall surrounding the entire compound to insure privacy.

Enrollment numbers were small at first but this changed shortly after the armistice of the 1st World War as the wayward doughboys swelled The Institution at an alarming rate, searching for the same security and closeness they had discovered in their buddies’ foxhole in the far off forests of the Ardennes in France. After Bannister Handoncocks’ retirement two other directors, Seymour Coxman and Peter Dragin, guided the institution to even larger record enrollments once the feminist movement took hold and gutted most of the Home Economic departments around the country. I became the fourth leader of The Institute in early ’82.

Our mission statement is to provide a quality education in the field of Homely Sciences to homosexual men who are willing to come and open themselves completely up to the experiences we here at The Institute can only offer. Because of the economic downturn and changing demographics of the last few years, we are reluctantly opening The Institute to straight female students as well.

February 2012 marks the 30th anniversary of my tenure at this cornerstone of education. We are here for the male homosexual masses, and now everyone, that are yearning to explore their hidden desires to immerse themselves in the science of running a well lubed home.

Dean Norman

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